A child part of me
still and always wishing
for the watching
parent to come
to help
to praise
to scold
to rescue
always expecting a
teacher
taking notes for the
report card
wanting to believe
in a God
a Santa Claus
or a Karmic Record
to have my skills tracked
my effort count
my credit accrue
my merit accumulate
my deeds matter
to know the score:
Am I good enough
fast enough
mindful enough
kind enough?
(Enough for what?)
(Enough for whom?)
Lacking a cosmic eye
I settle
for my new and
frighteningly beloved
Apple Watch.
At least I can ask it
How is my heart rate?
How was my sleep?
Have I burned enough calories yet?
Sadly, it doesn’t tell me,
Have I interrupted
enough oppression today?
How about an “Activity Ring” for that?
Or one for whether I’ve
sufficiently resisted
my country’s
descent into
authoritarianism?
Could these Watche(r)s
be programmed to track
our collective
awakening?
Meanwhile I give in to the Borg,
wearing it 23.5 hours a day.
I voluntarily submit to
the surveillance
society.
I don’t care.
I wanna know if
I got an “A” today.
Thank you for offering us this glimpse of being “oh so human again” through the eyes of your experience, Becca. Well said!
Thank you Becca. At this time of wondering all these things it does help to know others also facing the desire to have some “higher” being in charge to look after and protect and to validate I am enough. Thank you for giving these thoughts form in this perfect poem and helping me feel less alone with these fears.
If only mommy, daddy, Goddess would say, “Great job, kiddo. You’re really doing this whole adult thing well. You are a good person. You are doing enough. You are enough. Well, you could probably drink some more water, but…no matter what, I love you.”
But since that’s not gonna happen, we gotta tell ourselves. And each other.I love this poem! And clearly, it resonates.
This is frustrating-1 my 3rd attempt st a response. They keep vanishing mid sentence.
Perhaps that’s best. I think the response is “heart.” Heart tells us what to do and when enough is enough. Heart and the input of others who reflect similar viewpoints.
How do we trust our own conscience that we are enough, doing enough, even in a world where no action is enough to stop the atrocities and crimes of our time? I so appreciate your reflections on wanting that affirmation, even as I know the rings of the Apple Watch could never convey the incremental change of which we are all a part. Perhaps we can be the rings for each other, let each other know that we are witnessing that change, our impact, in the both small or big ways of our human footprint on this earth, in this life, affirming that we do matter, even as so many politicians the world over lead us to think otherwise.
Rebecca, scarily relatable on so many levels and seemingly no resolution in sight. Thanks for sharing. Glenda Ross